Hear Me Roar

I've decided to start a whole new blog. Evert time I look at this one, I just feel guilty for neglecting it. And as much as I tell myself I need to update more often, I know deep down that it's not going to happen. So I've decided to start fresh with an whole new outlook, and actually start blogging about something other than the kids. Believe it or not there is a part of my life that doesn't involve them. It may be a very small part but it's there! And it may be slightly more interesting to read about :)
I pretty sure my new blog is connected to this one in some way but if it isn't here's the link.
http://kylieroars.blogspot.com/
Hope you enjoy!

Photo Overload

Finally, I'm making time to upload some photos. There were so many I wanted to share. the order is a bit random:

Harrison is obsessed with cars and all things that go Brrmm at the moment so one so Vivienne dressed him up in some Cars PJ's and boots he got for his birthday. They're still a bit big. He loved them. He kept looking at his shirt and boots and saying 'Brrrm brrmmm'.

We've been on a couple of camping trips in the last month or so. Harrison had a great time. He hadn't been camping since he was 8 months old so it was a new experience for him. He loved swimming and playing with dirt and sticks and generally being filthy the whole time. Germs are good right?? ;)

Harrison and I enjoying a swim.


Eating food coated with dirt mmmmmmmm


A boy and his stick.

Ok, these next ones are all back-to-front but as promised......Puppy photo's......

Harrison loves them, although he calls them 'meows'. I think when they start running around biting at his heels in a couple of weeks he might realise they're dogs.

Getting right in amongst it. So disgusting. I practically disinfected him after this but it was so cute I had to take a photo first. I the puppies were only a few days old here. They are two weeks old today thought and are starting to walk around and open their eyes.

Just some sleeping shots. They're few and far between these days. I'm always worried I'll wake him. This day he was well and truly tuckered out after playgroup so I thought I was safe to sneak in.

Our most recent camping trip from end to start:
On the way home we had to pack everything that would normally be in the back of the car onto the trailer to accommodate Reba and her babies.

Harrison sleeping through us digging and winching ourselves out of a dry bog.

The bog we were digging out of. We were on our way home but didn't get far. We didn't realise just how soft that sand was. It was like talcum powder.

Reba wondering what's going on while we were packing up. Her babies were only a few hours old.

All packed and ready to go home. About 5 minutes before above situation LOL

Harrison possibly the most disgusting he has ever been and loving every minute of it.

Jesse being a fire bug as usual.

Harrison's nudie bum. Aint it cute?

Ethan relaxing in the camp.

Dad and Harrison reading about Brmmms

Reba the day before she gave birth. Still keen to jump on the quad. She actually chased after the kids when they took off on the quad before she'd had her last puppy!! You could see she was really struggling with what to do. She started to follow the kids but in the end decided she had to come back. About 10 mins later her last puppy was born. Crazy dog.

Vivienne and Harrison testing the water when we first arrived.

A few weeks ago I went to my friend Tracey's 40th birthday party. It was fancy dress but didn't have any particular theme which made it really hard to decide what to go as. I procrastinated about it for ages and left it til the last minute and had to throw something together.Of course we don't have any costume or party shops in this town so we all had to make do with what we had. My sister Michelle and her husband Adrian (a.k.a Jean) also came.

Jean did the toga thing.

Michelle went as a Sith Lord. Don't ask me which one. I can't remember what she was called.

And I decided to go Emo. I stopped short of dying my hair but it was fun to dress up. I think I smiled far too much throughout the night considering my costume.

That's it for now. I'm off to bed. I have a big week ahead. I'll be caring for two toddlers for the next four days and then flying to Cairns on Thursday night and I haven't even finished my shopping list!!!!!!

Avoiding the catch up

I've finally come to realise that the reason I've been avoiding blogging lately is because I was so overwhelmed by the idea of trying to catch up. Every time I'd think about blogging, my mind would be flooded trying to remember the million and one things that have happened since last time so I've decided to ditch the catch up. Ahhh, now i feel better. It's so much easier to just start fresh.

I've had no computer for the past couple of weeks and it feels like forever. It's been with the repair man while he tried to do everything he can to make it faster, including replacing the hard drive and while the computer itself responds to most things faster the one thing that i really wanted it to change remains the same....it takes me what feels like years to open posts in my favourite TWW forum :( So sad. Therefore it must be the sight lagging and not my machine which is so disappointing because there is so much I want to read but I don't have the patience to wait forever (in reality probably a minute or so but when you want to read 50 posts that's a long time) for each post to open. What to do, what to do?? I most certainly CANNOT abandon the forum. That would be like asking me not to breathe *gasps* but I've been visiting that sight sine before I was pregnant with Harrison. It's like an extra limb. The only solution would be to move towns to somewhere that has super high speed internet available so the lagging isn't a problem :)

Some exciting news..............we have babies!! Our dog Reba had puppies while we were camping. So we now have 6 cute little babies!! Luckily (or not, I'm not quite sure really) we had taken her camping with us. We knew of course that she was pregnant but because we didn't mean for it to happen, we weren't quite sure when she was due. We had separated her and our dog for what we thought was her heat and when we found out she was pregnant we assumed that they must have done the deed right at the beginning of her heat before she started bleeding which would have meant she was due around now. A dogs gestation is generally about 63days long and her having them when she did means she was fertile over a week before she started spotting!! Something we'll have to watch for in the future. Anyway, not much we can do about it this time around. I'm sure we'll find homes for them easily enough when the time comes. Our bitch Reba is a straight CatahoulaXBull Arab. There were ten puppies in her litter and every single one of them threw to Catahoula colours. Now Reba has mated with another Arab which makes these puppies 3/4Arab 1/4 Cat yet 5 out of the six pups have thrown back to Cat colours again. That's some strong genes. I've got some photos on the camera that I haven't uploaded yet but I'll be sure to post some when I do.

In other news I'm off to Cairns next week to do some Christmas shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited, real shops, real shopping, big spending spree to boost the economy ;) Vivienne is coming with me as an early birthday present. She's super excited and has been saving pocket money and writing shopping lists for weeks. Of course Harrison is coming too and my Mum is coming up to Cairns for the weekend to see us. It will be a hectic trip of usual but it's always good to get out of here and experience the rat race for a few days.

That's it for now, I'm off get my lunch out of the oven. Being naughty today. Wedges with sour cream and sweet chili. YUM!

How Is It Possible?

What do you mean it's been more than a month since I've updated my blog?? How is that possible??

I just feel like life has been flying by and I've been meaning to get around to it but then the day just disappears.

Anyway, I guess I'd better get into it then.

Harrison's birthday - a whole months ago??? We didn't do much on his actual birthday. His party was simple but a hit with the kids. We set up a couple of toddler pools and let the kids splash around. We also had a finger painting station for the older toddlers. The cake turned out great. The design was completely stolen from someone else. I googled Very Hungry Caterpillar cakes and heaps of different versions. I liked this one the best. Thank-you to the blogger who shared her babies cake with us all :)

Some photos:The Caterpillar CakeTh caterpillar wouldn't have been enough to feed everyone so we did another cake which is based on the design on the inside cover of the book. Thanks again to Google.For the take home gifts I did disposable sippy cups with some bubbles, some healthy treats a balloon and a toy

We let Harrison eat the head of the CaterpillarLastly, Harrison enjoying the water play.

In the last month Harrison has also had his first haircut!! Lets just say he didn't enjoy the experience, Before:During

AfterI think she did a great job considering how wriggly he was. Eventually he became fascinated by a woman behind us getting some foils so he was still enough for the hairdresser to fix it up.

I've also been doing daycare full time for the past couple of weeks. I understand what it's like now to have twins. Alot of work. Plus Harrison has been jealous and naughty.

So much more I'd like to say but I have one small boy at my side whinging and saying 'Up, up, up' so I'm going to have to cut this short and fill in the details later. Hopefully I'll get the chance to do some reading catch up later. :)

Birthdays Galore

Today my baby is no longer a baby!!! So I have to say a very big Happy First Birthday Harrison!! I have plenty so say about that but first I have to tell you all about Jesse's birthday.

he loved his presents. We got him a scooter, some Indiana Jones Lego, a Neoshifter and a new book in a series he's reading. A pretty good haul if I do say so myself. His actual birthday was a school day so after school I made him a simple cake so we could sing Happy Birthday. He chose to have lasagne for dinner and chocolate pudding for dessert. So he went to bed with a very contented tummy.

On Saturday night we had his party. It went off without a hitch and he and his friends had a great time. Everyone thought his party cake was awesome and I think it turned out pretty good myself since it was my first attempt at using marzipan icing ( I couldn't buy any sugar paste in this town). I don't think any of the kids got much sleep that night but isn't that the point??

As for today. I really do have mixed feelings about the whole thing and I think every mother must. It's so exciting to watch Harrison change from a baby into a little boy and while it was really hard work, that first year is something we can never get back. And he'll never be that beautiful tiny baby I could hold in my arms all day long again. I really wish I could have enjoyed his first month more. I wish I had have said yes to the transfusion so I wasn't so incredibly tired all the time. I wish I would have put his needs over those of everyone else in the family and breast fed him longer. These are things I know I can never change and it's even sadder knowing that I won't get the chance to do them again.

I couldn't sleep last night which seems apt considering that on that night one year ago I didn't get a wink of sleep either. I kept looking at the clock and thinking 'this time one year ago........'. It was the scariest most amazing experience of my life and i'd do it all again in a heartbeat so I thought i'd post Harrison's birth story just as I wrote it when we first arrived home.

At my 39wk appt we decided that if I hadn’t delivered by my due date we would talk about induction at my next appt. So in I went the following Wednesday (8/8/07 my due date) still in one piece.

The dr. did and internal and found that my cervix was still “unfavourable”. It was soft but not effaced or dilated at all so he wasn’t willing to induce for at least another few days. We decided that I would go to hospital for cervidil on Monday afternoon and if that didn’t kick start labour on its own, they would induce me Tuesday morning.

We arrived at the hospital at 3.30 Monday afternoon and after monitoring me for a while, I was given the first dose of Cervidil at around 4.30pm. The midwife sent me down to the ward and said to do lots of walking around and come back to L&D at 10pm for the next dose. So Dan and I went and got ourselves settled in the maternity ward and waited. We went and got some greasy burgers for dinner from a takeaway store across the road and went for a giant walk.

We got back to the hospital at about 8pm so I went for a shower and waited until it was time to go back down to L&D. I started getting a few mild cramps at around 9pm. I was monitored for another 1/2hr or so before being examined again. The midwife claimed she couldn’t find my cervix and that it must be still very high and administered the next dose of cervidil. By this stage the contractions had increased in strength a bit so she decided to examine me while I was having a contraction to try and feel my cervix better. It turns out she was looking in the wrong place. She was surprised to find that it was quite far forward and fully effaced but still not dilated at all. We sent Dan home and I went back to the ward to wait again.

By about 11pm my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and while the cramping pain of the contraction was fairly mild I had really bad back pain. The nurses on the ward had said to let them know if I was having any pains and I didn’t want to bother them with something trivial so I waited until I couldn’t stand it any more before letting them know I couldn’t sleep. They sent me back to L&D to be monitored. The monitor showed that while my contractions were close together they were only lasting around 30secs and were quite mild in strength. I tried to explain that it was the back pain that was getting to me. After a quick feel of my belly, the midwife realized that he was the wrong way around and that was why I was in so much pain. Having their spine against yours can cause really bad back labour. I was glad there was a reason for it because before that I felt like such a sook. I normally have a really strong pain threshold.

They offered a shot of pethadine to help me sleep. I accepted but it didn’t seem to do a thing. I suffered through it until about 4am. I’m sure the midwife thought I was exaggerating the pain but by that stage I just wanted to call Dan to come back in. Still it wasn’t the contraction cramps that were the problem. Only my back. I was allowed to go to L&D where I called Dan to come back in. It was about 4.40 by this stage. The midwife did and internal and found that I was only a fingertip dilated. She offered the gas to breathe through the contractions but as the gas takes about 25secs to work and my contractions were only lasting 30secs it did nothing to take the edge off. The midwife kept telling me that it was only early yet and they were only mild. So I said “If this is mild, I’ve just made up my mind about drugs”, meaning an epidural. Dan arrived at about 5am and I went and had a shower to let the hot water run on my back. By this stage the contractions felt like they were right on top of each other. By about 5.40 I was standing in the shower and had the overwhelming urge to push with each contraction. I called the midwife to let her no and she said “Oh no love, it won’t be time yet. Nothing much would have happened since the last time we checked. She left the room and about 5mins later I started bleeding so I called her back. She said that the bleeding was a good sign and agreed to check. She was very surprised to find that I was already 5cm dilated. I was elated because earlier the midwife had told me that I cold have an epidural once I was 4cm. She just laughed because she new there wouldn’t be time. She couldn’t believe things were happening so quickly. The urge to push was overwhelming and she encouraged me to breathe with the gas to try and concentrate through it. It was doing nothing to ease the pain but it was a good distraction. Apparently the baby being posterior often gives you the urge to push long before it time .It was almost impossible though. Dan rang mum to tell her to come in but not to hurry because we were only about ½ way there. After doing my best to breathe and not push for about ½ hr, the midwife finally agreed to check my again. She was amazed to find that I was already fully dilated and ready to push. It was such a relief.

The pushing stage was such a relief. I was so happy to finally be able to do what my body was telling it to do. Once the baby moved further down, it must have taken a lot of the pressure off my back to because the back pain eased and the 10-15mins of pushing it took to get him out was by far the easiest part of the whole deal. He was born at 6.45am Dan called Mum again to let her know to come and meet her new Grandson. She couldn’t believe she missed it. She was still at home making some lunch to bring to the hospital for her and Dan to get them through what was supposed to be a long day.

He was born face up with the cord around his neck so while only his head was out the midwife cut the cord from around his neck before I pushed the rest of his body out. They briefly put him on my chest then whisked him away to give him some oxygen. Dan was watching closely and was relieved to see that as soon as he sniffed the oxygen his limbs sprung to life and he had a little cry. Dan just held my hand and cried. I really thought that I would break down but I was just so amazed and relieved and overwhelmed by everything the tears didn’t come. Dan cut what was left of the cord and they wrapped him and gave him to me for a cuddle. He was all blue and his face was bruised from being born so quickly but I swear I’d never seen anything so beautiful. I know it’s corny but there’s a reason cliché’s are cliché’s.

I had my phone with me and started calling people even before I had delivered the placenta. After the placenta was delivered the midwife was massaging my uterus when I started hemorrhaging. Every time she pushed on my belly I felt blood gush out. One gush landed across the other side of the room. The midwife started to look concerned and the Dr.s were called in to rush me to theatre to stop the bleeding. I kept asking if I would be alright and the midwives and nurses were telling me yes but it was hard to believe when everyone seemed to be in such a mad panic around me. Mum arrived sometime while all this was happening and was so busy oohing and ahing over her new Grandson, I don’t think she quite realized what was happening to her own daughter. Meanwhile seeing all the blood, Dan hit major panic stations. I was sure I felt ok and was more concerned with having to be given general anesthetic because I’ve never had it before and have always been paranoid about being able to still feel something. I remember asking them if they were going to cut me open and when they said hopefully not I asked them if I could just stay awake. Of course they wouldn’t let me LOL. They brought me in the consent form to sign and explained to my why I had to sign it. I remember thinking I couldn’t sign it because I am left handed and they were trying to put a drip in my left hand. They put the form on my belly and I told the Dr. I couldn’t sign it. She of course told me I had to, but I didn’t mean I wouldn’t. I remember thinking I couldn’t sign it like that. I needed something to lean on or it would be too messy. Isn’t it stupid the things you think of?? LOL

The worst part of the whole ordeal was, just before we about to head to theatre, a midwife, promptly shove her whole arm inside me held onto my uterus. It was only time I swore the whole time. I said shit and sugar a lot while I was in labour (I have no idea what made me feel the need to be so polite) but when that woman did that to me I let out a roaring great “ F***!!!” She just said “I’m sorry love but I have to hold it to stop the bleeding.”


I was wheeled up to theatre like that. Dan came with me while mum stayed with Harrison. They had to stitch a couple of tears in my cervix (most likely caused by all the pushing before it was time) and also stitch quite a few tears inside the vaginal wall. . Most of the bleeding however came from my uterus as a result of the placenta coming away too quickly. I lost over two litres of blood in the end.

Considering they don’t consider you in ‘active labour’ until you are 4cm dilated, in their books I had a labour of 45 mins. I like to count it from 11pm because even though everyone else considers those contraction meaningless, that’s when all the pain started for me and from that point, even though the contractions got closer together, the level of pain remained fairly consistent from 11pm til I was allowed to push. I really think if it wasn’t for the back pain it all would have been fairly easy to deal with.

I arrived back on the ward at about 10.30am. There were a few visitors waiting for me. I was still pretty out of it though. I just wanted to see my baby. I don’t remember much about what happened over the next few hrs.

It’s been 8 days since he was born today and so much has happened. I ended up conning my way out of hospital after only two days. I knew I wasn’t ready to go but I put on a very bright façade they discharged me on Thursday morning. Straight away we booked our flights for Friday. I just couldn’t wait to get home. Friday was a very long day. The travel really took it out of me. Even now, I get dizzy if I do too much and get tired really easily. The Dr’s said it will take up to six wks to make up all the lost blood but I’m feeling so much better already I’m sure it won’t take that long. All the stitches on the inside are still giving me some grief but it’s nothing I can’t deal with. And even though it all sound very dramatic, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. Everything is worth it to have my beautiful boy.

I'm so glad I wrote it down. It's amazing how you think you'll remember every detail but time fades your memory and the little things float from your mind.

I baked Harrison a cake to take to playgroup yesterday so we had a little party there.

And just for comparison a few newborn photos.

I haven't given him his presents from us yet today. He was still asleep when Dan left for work this morning so I decided to wait until tonight to he could be here too. I did give him his present from Opa , Nana, Auntie Kellie and Uncle Cor which was some Cars gumboots and PJ's and Gran also sent him some more books since I have him her other present early. Those pics are still on the camera. We're having his party on Saturday so I'll be back to update after that with lots and lots of photos no doubt. another busy weekend coming up :)

Making up for the little things.....

So after festering in my bad mood all week, I finally had it out with Dan last night. How did it go? I'll let you know in a week or so . For now good but it was just the same old conversation rehashed. I tried to approach it a little differently this time and didn't throw any accusations or blame around since that just normally makes him ark up even more. I just calmly explained the way I've been feeling and the reasons why. So we'll see how it all goes.

I went back to Weight Watchers last night. I started it a little while ago and was going really well when I found a lump in my breast and had the big 'I'm gonna die' freak out so I stopped going and things all went downhill from there. So last night I summoned up the courage to go back. I'd put on all but 0.5kg of what I'd lost last time so it's pretty much back to the drawing board but I'm feeling positive about it. I bought one of their Points Pedometers and I've been wearing it so far today. It's only 10am and it's telling I've done a healthy amount of movement already!! so now it will calculate my bonus points from here on in. It's pretty cool. You enter your height, weight and stride length and then it calculates your bonus points based on the number of steps you've taken. I Love new gadgets LOL.

Now that I'm in a better mood, I thought I might post some recent pics of Harrison on here. Only nine days to go until his birthday now!

He got his birthday presents from Gran (my Mum) in the mail and I let him have them early. Here he is unwrapping his new swing and some books and testing out his new chair.

My Mum also sent me some photos she took while were on holidays. I love this one she took of Harrison in the bath. I had to scan them so the quality isn't that great. And one of Harrison and I at the farmAnd just a couple of random pics of my cheeky monkey at home.

It's Jesse's birthday tomorrow and I still haven't wrapped his presents so I really should go and do that while he's at school today. He's having a sleepover party on the weekend so that'll keep us busy. I'm making him a Gameboy cake for his party on Saturday night so I'm sure he'll love it. I actually have an extra household member for the next few days. One of Jesse's friends who's an only child was supposed to be going camping with his parents this weekend and he was really upset that he was going to miss the party, so I volunteered to have him for the next thee nights so his parents can go camping alone and he can be here for the party. Why, why , why do I do this to myself?? I've also volunteered to run a stall at the playgroup fete on the Sunday so there goes any free time. At least this time I have no one to blame but myself.

I probably won't get a chance to log in before Monday so have a great weekend : )